www.loopzorbital.com

I also bought a blind Japanese doe the other day. Why? I have no idea...

I don't get it.

What don't you get?

doe = female deer
blind = no eyes (well, not strictly, but poetic licence...)

therefore - blind doe = no eyed deer = no idea

Don't know how Japanese fits into it???

Rich

Timbob wrote:I don't get it.

Here's one for you, Tim!

Een Engelse vis en een Nederlandse vis zwemmen samen onderwater. Zegt de Engelse vis: "Hi". Zegt de Nederlandse vis: "Waar?!"

I liked the desktop more

tcb2000 wrote:
Don't know how Japanese fits into it???

Rich

I have no eye deer.

could be any foreign johhny I suppose.

A man is pushing his trolley through the supermarket when he notices an attractive woman staring at him. When he looks over again, she's still looking his way. Curious, he goes over and asks if he knows her from somewhere. "Yes," she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my children." Frantic, the man, who's been faithful since the day he was married, wracks his brain and then finally blurts out, "You mean you're the stripper that I had at my bachelor party the night before my wedding? When we were on the pool table, with my friends cheering us on, and I was wearing a dog collar?" She gives him an icy stare and says, "No. I'm your son's history teacher."

Three blokes enter a disabled swimming contest.

The first has no arms the second no legs and the third has no body, just a head.

They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash" they're all in the pool. The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly, but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head sank straight to the bottom.

Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first.

He can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool, so he decides he had better dive down to rescue the head guy. He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool, where-upon the head starts coughing and spluttering.

Eventually the head catches his breath and shouts: "Three goddamn years I've spent learning to swim with my goddamn ears, then five seconds before the whistle, some bastard puts a swimming cap on me"

A bloke goes to the doctors having problems with premature ejaculation. Doctor tells him "when you feel yourself coming, give yourself a fright by firing a starter pistol in the air to prolong the sex". Two days later the doctor sees the man again and asks how it went. bloke says "not good, I did a 69er and felt myself start to cum, so I fired the gun. My wife shat on my face, bit my bell end off and the milkman came out the wardrobe with his hands up!!"

George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you.
First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side."

Bush interrupted, "Well, that's normal, isn't it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?"

The doctor replied, "That's true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn't anything right, while on the
right side there isn't anything left."

What was the name of the famous French shoe maker?

Phillippe Fallope

"A beautiful young blonde woman goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: Sex Frogs! Only £20 each! Money Back Guarantee! (Comes with complete instructions).

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The man packaged the frog and said, "Just follow the instructions carefully."

The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, the girl takes out the instructions and reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy teddy.
4. Crawl into bed and position the frog in place.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens! The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." So, the girl calls the pet store.

The man says, "I had some complaints earlier today. I'll be right over." Within five minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The girl welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there."

The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: "Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"

farmer jack gets a call from his farm hand. "Iv ran over a pig" he says " he's still alive but hes stuck under the tractor". shoot him says the farmer and just bury him. an hour later jack gets another call from the farm hand. he say "right, thats done, now where shall i hide his fuckin speed camera???"

hippy dave wrote:farmer jack gets a call from his farm hand. "Iv ran over a pig" he says " he's still alive but hes stuck under the tractor". shoot him says the farmer and just bury him. an hour later jack gets another call from the farm hand. he say "right, thats done, now where shall i hide his fuckin speed camera???"

Ha!

oh
that reminds me, last night i had a dream about tractors
weird flashback here...